To Be With You
by CEA
Summary: She loves her, and her loves she, but her does not know she, and she is afraid of loving her...
1. Deny

None of these characters belong to me.  
  
This is dedicated to anyone who reads this.  
  
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To Be With You  
By CEA  
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"Haruka?"  
"Yes?"  
"Do you love me."  
"Of course! Why would you even have to ask."  
"I love you."  
  
****************  
  
She walked morosely down the sidewalk, hands clutching the straps of her backpack. She closed her eyes and willed the tears away. It wouldn't help. This was her life now. She was meant to be a soldier, to fight, to protect. To give up lives to ensure the continuation of others', including her own, it seemed. Yes, she was but a shell of the girl who had been once happy... but it wasn't merely the battle and the daimons. It was her mother, her father... and the tall blonde who kept pushing her away.  
  
She pushed the door open to the coffee shop. All eyes were immediately upon her. Yes, she was beautiful. But none of these people saw past that. None of them.  
  
Her pen touched the paper, spreading words out in the form of poems and wordless thoughts shaped into the drawings that guarded her secrets in subtlety. The colors clashed, the sound crashed, yet everything was silent. The sound of silence was deafening to her. She pressed her hands to her ears to try and stop it from overcoming her. She felt people around her, trying to talk sense into her.  
  
'No!' Her mind screamed. 'Leave me alone! Why are you doing this to me?'  
  
Green eyes.  
  
Her own eyes snapped open. She breathed rapidly. A single tear fell down her cheek.  
  
Haruka...  
  
****************  
  
Aqua... ah, the water.  
It surrounded her.  
It was beautiful.  
It hid tears...  
  
****************  
  
She screamed as the monster claws raked her left arm and back. It felt like fire. A fir digging precisely into her, burning her flesh, molding her heart into it's scorched pattern, releasing a fire.  
  
And that fire propelled her to do the necessary. She couldn't hear herself, didn't even know what she was saying. She felt water on her fingertips, felt it leave, and then fell to her knees, as everything became blurry.  
  
****************  
  
Water streaming down my cheeks  
It is rain, I am sure  
I'm spinning around, welcoming water  
I won't slip, I can't fall  
  
No, but it is not for me to tell  
And the rain, the rain shall continue to fall.  
Water kisses are painful, but soothing  
And tears go unseen in the water  
  
Stand in the crowd and lift thy head high  
Sing out a new song  
I then walk to the coffee shop on the corner  
And allow my heart to flow away  
  
A river of longing is where I drift  
A raft supports my thoughts  
Spreading my arms wide, I catch a falling sea  
And the winds elude me again  
  
Heavy heart, wordless thoughts  
Entwined forever in the music that is me  
I press down the notes  
I rake the bow across the strings  
  
****************  
  
She could feel arms cradling her, and shook her head to clear her vision. It just increased her pain, but she could see the pers... Haruka?  
  
Wordless exchanges passed between them. Tears flowed freely from her eyes. Squeezing them shut, she heard Haruka speak. She answered automatically. Realizing too late that she was saying things she'd never meant Haruka to say, she apologized rapidly. But those verdant eyes had captured her gaze again. Haruka set her against the wall and walked over to where the shining gold and navy henshin pen lay.  
  
"No...Haruka, please...no..." she whispered, too weak to talk anymore. Haruka turned to her and offered a weak smile. She then reached out and touched the henshin pen. The room was full of swirls of light, engulfing her. Michiru watched, surprised, scared, and wondering all the way. Haruka landed as Sailor Uranus. She looked at her gloved hands for a moment, and closed her eyes tightly, grimacing, before detransforming.   
  
Michiru burst into tears.  
  
****************  
  
Her hands found hold were there were none as she climbed. A smile was on her face, her breaths coming out sharp. It was windy, she could feel the wind swirling about her as she ascended.  
  
Standing at last at the top of the cliff, she closed her eyes and spread her arms wide. Her blonde hair fluttered about in the wind. Her loose clothing flapped. The crash of waves on the rocks was loud, yet not too loud.  
  
"There was a path, you know."  
  
Haruka turned. Her eyes found the one who had spoken. She was the essence of beauty, perfection, love, kindness... "I know," she replied huskily. Michiru's eyes widened uncertainly.  
  
"Haruka?"  
  
The blonde walked over to her, staring into her eyes. And then she kissed her.  
  
Neither of them had kissed anyone before.  
  
****************  
  
"I love you, too," Haruka whispered. Michiru smiled softly, and hugged her tightly. "More than anything..."  
  
"Let's just stay here like this," Michiru said softly. Haruka smiled at her.  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
****************  
  
So? What did you think? Wow, this is kind of angsty... but I like it. I don't know what I had intended when I started this. But it turned out.... finished ;) Yay! I finished a fanfic!  
  
Oh well. All complaints, compliments, or anything of the sort sent to: michiruwater@hotmail.com  
  
Thanks for reading!  
  
Love,  
~*CEA 


	2. Resist

I decided to continue this. I don't know why. Review if you want more.  
  
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To Be With You: Part 2  
By CEA  
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"No."  
  
"Why not? What did I do wrong?"  
  
"I can't do this. We can't do this."  
  
"Haruka!"  
  
"Don't try to talk me out of this, Michiru! I've thought long and hard about it? You think that it doesn't hurt? You think that I'm not tearing apart inside?"  
  
"Haruka..."  
  
"Leave me alone, Kaioh-san."  
  
"Why?" she screams.  
  
"Because this mission is too important. We can't do this. This doesn't count. This doesn't count."  
  
The door slams and hides the sound of the beautiful one as she collapses to her knees.  
  
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To hold yourself and calm down   
This silence is golden   
Radio insomnia   
The farewell station   
  
Who will be taken by whom   
Coins will show   
Who will stay with whom   
Nerves and drugs   
This doesn't count. This doesn't count.   
  
The abided one, the betrayed one   
The silent one, the sorrowful one   
  
I am not your first. You are my sudden.  
  
****************  
  
Why was the ocean so loud? It hurt her ears. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. She'd tried so hard. So very hard. She'd given all that she'd had. Just to be with her.  
  
But she'd run, hadn't she?  
  
No, no, no, no, no.  
  
What could she do?  
  
Go back inside. Tell her that you were wrong. Tell her you love her.  
  
No, no, no, no, no.  
  
I can't do that.  
  
****************  
  
Michiru's eyes sparkled. "You love the ballet, don't you?" Haruka asked thge sea senshi, amused by her energy.  
  
"Yes. My grandmother used to bring me here when I was young. She loved the ballet more than anything. She was the star ballerina when she was young, but she put too much force into a turn once. She tore all the ligaments in her left leg. She still regrets it."  
  
"Must have been tough?"  
  
"To loose something you love? It's always tough. But grandmother moved on. She was strong, my grandmama."  
  
"Like you."  
  
"Perhaps."  
  
"Does everyone in your family have a special talent?"  
  
Michiru grinned. "I hear that my cousin Kyoto can't even write well."  
  
Haruka chuckled. "The Kaioh legend is broken."  
  
"There's a Kaioh legend?"  
  
"Yes. You."  
  
Michiru blushed and glanced down.  
  
****************  
  
I am already gone   
It is very serious   
Situation HELP   
Situation SOS   
I cannot understand myself   
Where did you appear form?   
The light is shutting down   
I am flying somewhere   
Without you there is no me   
I don't want anything   
It is the slow poison   
It is making me crazy   
But the say it is all my fault.   
  
I've lost my mind   
I've lost my mind   
I need her   
I need her   
I have lost my mind   
I need her  
  
Without you I am not myself   
Without you there is no me   
But they say, they say   
It is delirium   
It is poison from the sun   
It is making me crazy   
But they say it is all my fault   
I did try to forget   
To the end and down   
I did count the poles   
And confused birds   
Without you there is no me   
Let me go, let me go   
To the corner and down   
Mom, Dad forgive me   
  
I've lost my mind   
I've lost my mind   
I need her   
I need her   
I have lost my mind   
I need her  
  
1,2 go after 5   
Mom, Dad forgive me   
I've lost my mind   
  
1,2 go after 5   
Mom, Dad forgive me   
I've lost my mind   
  
I've lost my mind   
I've lost my mind   
I need her   
I need her   
I have lost my mind   
I need her  
  
****************  
  
Michiru placed her coat on the hook. Haruka was still in the hallway outside. She walked around the couch, not bothering to turn the lights off. The moonlight lit her face and she leaned morosely against the wall. The darkness seemed to fit her mood. Her eyes stared ahead.  
  
Haruka entered, wondering why Michiru had not yet turned the lights on. She hung her coat up. Her eyes found Michiru's, and she gasped. The windows bathed the beautiful girl in a cascade of moonlight. Her vision was capture by her.  
  
Slowly, she walked forward. Michiru left her spot by the wall and stood by the couch, staring steadily into the tall blonde's eyes. Haruka stood in front of her, shaking. Her mind was telling her five different things at once, and she didn't know what to do or say. All she knew was that the most beautiful woman in the universe was standing in front of her, and all she wanted was to hold her. Slowly, her hands found their place on Michiru's hips, and then she ran a hand along Michiru's stomach and breast. The smaller girl sucked in a deep breath.  
  
With little force, Haruka backed Michiru back up against the wall. She pressed her there with her body, the need filling her. "Michiru..." she whispered softly, placing a hand on her neck. And she kissed her, a slow kiss, a deep kiss. Michiru pressed herself even further back on the wall and grabbed Haruka's shirt, pulling her closer to her. Haruka reached down between them, and Michiru gasped.  
  
"I want..." Haruka whispered, and she pulled away, "I want to make love to you."  
  
Michiru nodded, and the darkness found them again.  
  
****************  
  
How do I say it?  
But to say, I must speak...  
Oh, let the world die...  
Your heart I would reap!  
  
Let me go, let me go  
No, I won't, no, I won't.  
I love you, I love you.  
Let it show, let it show!  
  
****************  
  
End part 2.  
  
Both songs songs are by t.A.T.u. The first is a translation of 'Ya Tvoya Ne Pervaya'. The second is a translation of 'Ya Soshla S Uma'. I suggest that you download both songs.  
  
The last poem is by me :) Enjoy.  
  
~*CEA 


End file.
